Heart Unbroken (The Potter's House Books Book 3) Page 4

  He knew the reason some people always wore long-sleeved clothes.

  Because they were hiding their collapsed veins.

  Combined with her unusual skinniness and paleness, it wasn’t a good sign. He frowned but pushed away his doubts.

  Her words weren’t a good start to the date, either, or whatever this was. But at least she was here and hadn’t caught a cold yesterday.

  A movement in his heart told him he was happy to see her. He had a stab of guilt. At the moment, he had to attend to Amigo.

  His insides squeezed from worry. “We need to exchange phone numbers then. But right now Amigo is a priority.”

  She quirked an eyebrow. “Okay, I know that amigo means friend in Spanish. But who’s this amigo who’s so important to you?"

  She didn’t finish the sentence with instead of me, but it was obvious she wanted to.

  “Amigo is my dog. He ran away right before you arrived. I was looking for him.”

  “Oh.” Several emotions reflected on her face, from compassion to worry to fear.

  Huh. Was she afraid of dogs?

  She lifted her chin. “Let’s go then. Don’t worry about the picnic basket and the cooler. It’s not hot today, and I iced the cooler well.”

  “Bossy, aren’t you?” he said as they headed along the shore.

  She shrugged. “You’re a sheriff. You know the sooner you start looking for someone, the more chances you have to find him or her.”

  Emma had a point.

  Rodrigo nodded, watching out for a spot of light brown fur on the beach. Amigo’s coloring being so close to that of the sand didn’t help.

  Something in her initial reaction to him mentioning his pet put him on guard. “You don’t like dogs, do you?”

  “I’m scared of one particular breed. Some of my friends had a bad experience with it.” Her gaze moved over the perimeter quickly.

  The breed that was trained to detect drugs?

  His heart went cold. Rodrigo hoped he was wrong.

  “What does Amigo look like?” She turned her head while scanning the shore as they walked briskly.

  “Medium size, light brown fur, a Labrador.” Concern for Amigo tightened Rodrigo’s gut.

  “I think I see him. Amigo! Amigo!” She pointed somewhere to the right.

  “Amigo!” Rodrigo yelled and took off running in the direction she was pointing.

  The dog met him halfway, barking cheerfully. Amigo wagged his tail and started licking Rodrigo’s hands.

  Emma hung back at first. Then she took a tentative step forward, an uncertain look in her eyes. She leaned to Amigo cautiously. The dog turned to her, put his wet paws on her pristine dress, and licked her face.

  Rodrigo cringed. “Sorry about your dress.”

  Instead of being irritated, she smiled, looking more at ease. “It’s okay. I’ve never had such an enthusiastic first meeting before.”

  So she wasn’t much about appearances. He recalled how yesterday when she’d gotten stuck at the beach, instead of staying in her vehicle, she’d climbed outside and dug through the wet sand. She hadn’t paid attention to the dirt ending up on her knees and even on her face. He’d wanted to reach out and brush the sand away from her skin then. But he’d instinctively held back.

  He’d been attracted too much to her already. If he’d touched her...

  Rodrigo forced himself to dismiss the thought.

  As he carried the picnic basket and the cooler to a blanket she spread on the beach, he held himself back now, too.

  No matter how much he wanted to brush the strands of her hair away from her face. Or feel the softness of her skin underneath his fingertips. Or draw her close and promise things would get better from now on. He didn’t have the right to make such promises, and not only because her past held secrets he might not like.

  In a week, he’d go back to his regular life, and Emma Hughes would be only a beautiful memory.

  A tug on his heart told him he wanted her to be much more than that. It surprised him, considering he’d never thought he’d ever be attracted to another woman after Corina. Rodrigo placed the basket and the cooler on the blanket and raked his fingers through his hair.

  Emma was so different from Corina. Corina had been an open book while Emma was like a book with covers drawn together and locked. And the key to that lock seemed to be thrown far away in the ocean.

  As they sat down on the blanket, the wind tore Emma’s hat away from her. She jumped to her feet.

  With a loud bark, Amigo took off after the hat, and so did Rodrigo. The last thing he needed was for his dog to ruin another part of her outfit, this time by chewing up her straw hat. Rodrigo managed to snatch the hat moments before Amigo sunk his teeth into it.

  Amigo looked at him with reproach in his eyes, then hunted a seagull that hunted a fish in the water. Whether the fish hunted a smaller fish or just swam peacefully, Rodrigo didn’t know.

  “Thank you.” She put the rescued hat back on her head and waved at the dishes covering the blanket. “Let’s eat.”

  He said grace.

  “Amen,” she said when he was done.

  He took a serving of the baked fish in the sauce he didn’t know the name of. His taste buds danced in delight. “Wow. I’ve never tasted anything better. Well, with the exception of that chocolate cake.”

  “You’re wrong.” Emma handed him a plate with tomatoes stuffed with rice and beef. “Try this.”

  He obeyed and was rewarded with a delicious taste with a hint of spice. “Okay. I’ve never tasted anything better than this.”

  She smiled. “You’re wrong again. Here.” She handed him a dish with avocado halves filled with tiny shrimp and miniscule pieces of tomatoes in a white sauce.

  When did she have time to cook all this? He took one avocado half and dug in. It was amazing.

  Emma Hughes was one very talented chef.

  Rodrigo usually liked to argue his point, but he’d never loved being wrong as much as he did in that moment. “I’m so glad I didn’t cook that fish and pass up all this. But I hate that you had to work so much.”

  She waved her hand in dismissal as she munched on her own stuffed avocado. “It’s nothing compared to the amount I usually do at the restaurant.”

  “Do you specialize in seafood?”

  “Nope. I specialized in desserts in culinary school. But my son loves seafood, so I learned to cook it pronto.”

  Her face lit up when she mentioned her son, and there was such deep longing in her voice that his heart sank. What could’ve caused a woman to walk away from her child? A long-term illness? Or...

  “What do you like, Emma?” Rodrigo took a swig of iced tea from the bottle, welcoming its cold, lemony taste. He already knew she liked iced tea, but he wanted to know more about her. Much more.

  “I love Jesus. I’m new at being a Christian, and it’s not easy to believe I’m worthy of God’s love. But I’m trying.”

  “God loves us not because we’re worthy of it. His love is unconditional.”

  Emma paused, then continued, “I love being a mom. Well, whenever I get that chance. I love my friends in Chicago, Caleb, Gnat, and Harry. I love my friends here, Mari and Joy, who stood by me even when I didn’t deserve it. I love the Rios Azules community, except for some individuals, of course. I love cooking. I love the ocean, sunrises, classical music, violets, chocolate cake...” She laughed softly, the sound warming him up inside. “The list could go on and on.”

  “What do you hate?” He decided to dig deeper until she stopped him.

  Her eyes narrowed. “Besides myself? Nothing.”

  He winced at the misery written on her face.

  Again, she reminded him of the ocean, her darkened eyes like the heavy clouds yesterday and a thunderstorm about to get started.

  One moment she seemed confident and carefree, and the next totally heartbroken.

  “Whatever happened to you, it’s in the past. You’re a new person in Christ now.”

&
nbsp; She gave him a long look. “You sound like Joy. But you don’t understand. It’s not easy to forgive myself. Especially when my past still has a strong hold on me."

  He’d seen enough people with an affinity for self-destruction to guess Emma might be one of them. And another suspicion uncoiled inside him. He’d tried to help people who’d done wrong but hadn’t always succeeded. And neither had Corina... The pain that pierced his heart left him breathless.

  But Emma was obviously trying to do better. For a week, he’d do his best to bring some joy into her life, help her believe herself worthy again. It was his duty to assist people in need. Just because it was his vacation, it didn’t mean he’d leave someone who was suffering to her own devices. Besides, that was what Corina would do.

  “You’ve lost someone, haven’t you?” Emma asked quietly.

  How did she guess?

  He nodded. “My wife. Two years ago.”

  “I’m sorry,” Emma whispered.

  “You’ve lost someone, too, haven’t you?” He studied her. A person who understood him this well must’ve experienced the same pain in her life.

  “My family when I was fifteen. I was left with only my uncle. Then he died, too,” she whispered.

  His heart nearly broke for her. “I’m so sorry, too.”

  She nodded. “Is it okay to ask what happened?”

  “A junkie killed her.” Another stab of regret, but less painful this time.

  Emma’s eyes widened in horror. She turned away. When she looked back, her eyes glistened with tears. “That... must’ve been terrible for you,” she said slowly, as if every word was painful for her.

  He was amazed at the depth of her compassion.

  From the corner of his eye, Rodrigo saw Amigo racing to them, obviously tired of his futile chase of seagulls. The dog aimed exactly into the middle of the dishes and plates of Emma’s culinary masterpieces. Rodrigo leaped to his feet, anxious to stop his dog from destroying what was left of dinner.

  Emma grabbed a stick lying nearby and sent it flying. “Amigo, catch!”

  Amigo practically flew into the air but missed the stick by bare inches.

  Emma smiled at the dog going after the stick. Her smile warmed something deep inside Rodrigo. For a moment, the sadness disappeared from her eyes, and he stared at her, mesmerized by her beauty. He wanted to do everything he could to keep that smile on her face.

  Amigo came back and settled down near Emma. Yep, his loyal, faithful dog.

  Rodrigo moved closer to her and reached for her hand. He was an up-front guy, and he wasn't about to change now. “I like you,” he said.

  She turned to him, and he was startled by the expression of regret and fear in her eyes. Disappointment uncoiled in the pit of his stomach. Instead of keeping her happy, he made her afraid.

  “You can’t like me. I mean, you shouldn't like me.” The expression in her eyes turned to one of misery. “Just as I shouldn’t like you.”

  Rodrigo winced as if she slapped him. “Why?”

  She sighed deeply. “I should’ve told you from the get-go. I used to be a drug addict. Just like the person who killed your wife.”

  Rodrigo felt as if he’d been punched in the face. Pain erupted inside him, and for a brief moment, it was hard to breathe.

  “I guess this is when we say good-bye to each other.” She started gathering plates.

  Still in shock, Rodrigo hurried to help her. Amigo lifted his head from his paws and whined, as if disliking this turn of events.

  How did I miss the signs of addiction?

  “But you’re drug-free now, right?” He carried the basket to her car.

  Amigo trudged along, whining and looking unhappy.

  “Yes, since I became a Christian. But you’ve dealt with the likes of me.” She turned around and looked him in the eye.

  “What do you mean?” He held her gaze, suspecting he didn’t want to hear the answer.

  Amigo sat down near him and licked his fingers, as if showing his silent support.

  Her lips curved into a sad smile. “Do you know how incredibly strong the pull is? How hard it is to fight it?”

  “But you’ve done well so far.” He should walk away. So why did he have this desire to defend her?

  “So far,” she echoed.

  “You walk on the road of redemption.”

  She shook her head. “No.”

  His heart fell. “No?”

  “I’m not strong enough for that. I’m not walking on the road of redemption. I’m crawling on it.” She sighed. “Let’s face it, every time you look at me, you’ll see your wife’s killer.”

  A familiar pain knifed him. “No. I see Corina’s killer every time I look in the mirror.”

  Her jaw slackened. “What?”

  “You don’t know the entire story. The guy who killed her is the one I gave a second chance, helped him get probation, got him in rehab. If I hadn’t, Corina might still be alive.”

  Emma’s lips thinned. “That’s horrible.”

  He hung his head. “Yes. I made a horrible mistake, and Corina paid for it with her life.”

  She reached out for him and made him look up, her touch gentle yet insistent. “It’s horrible you still blame yourself for it. What happened to Corina wasn’t your fault. But the way you feel shows me what a kind man you are.”

  “Then why don’t you let me be kind to you?” The words escaped before he had a chance to stop them.

  He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and something like an electric current passed through him. A reaction too strong for his liking.

  Her lower lip trembled. “Because you just ruined it.”

  Rodrigo couldn’t believe his ears. “I ruined it?”

  “When you started talking about liking me. I was supposed to be a vacation diversion. Something to distract you from your grief. You know, like fishing.”

  “You could never be just that,” he said softly.

  “But I can’t be anything else for you. You’re a sheriff. You shouldn’t be dating a former drug addict. Your opponents would have a field day with this.”

  Her words were logical. He loved his job and was good at it. He knew he couldn’t always right the wrong, but he believed he made a difference. He was grateful to God for the possibility to lose himself in his work after Corina’s death.

  Emma had a point. His job depended on public opinion, and rumors of him having a relationship with a former drug addict wouldn’t be taken well if he decided to run for re-election. And what if Emma started using again? Possessing certain types of drugs was illegal.

  Chills ran down his spine.

  Emma studied him, her gaze thoughtful. “Besides, until you forgive your wife’s killer—the real one—and until you forgive yourself, you won’t be ready for a relationship with me. Or anyone else, for that matter. Have you forgiven him? Have you forgiven yourself?”

  His mouth went dry, and something heavy pressed on his chest.

  “I didn’t think so.” Emma leaned down and patted Amigo. “I’ll miss you.” Amigo barked several times. She turned to Rodrigo and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll miss you, too. Have a good rest of your vacation.”

  “Emma...” He took her hand, torn.

  She jerked it back. “Be glad you just escaped making the biggest mistake of your life.”

  “You’re not a mistake.”

  A sad smile touched her lips. “In the country of heroin, pain rules. Hope is a rare guest there. And love... I don’t know whether love ever crosses its borders.”

  After giving him a long glance, she slid inside her sedan and drove off.

  Amigo chased the car, and Rodrigo nearly did the same. At some point, her car struggled to move, and he charged forward, hoping her vehicle got stuck again. That would give him the chance to talk to her while getting her out. But with another roar of the motor, her sedan jerked forward.

  His Lab came back, his eyes sad. Apparently, his dog didn’t understand all the reason
s Rodrigo couldn’t see Emma anymore.

  And while Rodrigo understood those reasons very well, his heart didn’t.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  “JUNIOR, CATCH!” EMMA THREW THE ball to her son, careful not to hit any people who chose to spend this sunny, warm spring day at the beach.

  Junior caught it, laughing, the sound music to her ears.

  Thankfully, she had this time with her son to distract her from grim thoughts about Rodrigo. She’d done the right thing by pushing him away two days ago. But it didn’t help the emptiness inside her. And the cravings seemed to be stronger than ever.

  “Your turn!” Junior threw the ball back, surprisingly high for his small stature.

  She had to jump to catch it, but she managed. “Got it! Now, you!” She sent the ball flying to him, low enough for him to reach.

  He caught it, a victorious smile on his face.

  Love for her son filled her entire being.

  Her boy seemed be more comfortable with her now, a huge improvement since the time she’d moved back to Rios Azules. Junior had been distrustful and fearful of her then, and it had broken her heart all over again. The worst part, she couldn’t allow herself to deal with the emotional distress the usual way she’d dealt with it.

  A breeze ruffled his hair, a shade darker than hers. Junior had Dylan’s hair and bright blue eyes and his adorable dimples. Hopefully, he’d have Dylan’s character, too. A wave of gratitude washed over her for this time with Junior, making the pain of losing Rodrigo more bearable.

  After throwing the ball several more times, Junior ran to her. “I’m hungry!”

  She leaned to him. “There’s a seafood café nearby. Are you okay with walking there?”

  “Sure.” Her son grinned, obviously always in the mood for his favorite seafood.

  She put the ball in the trunk of her car, got her purse, and headed toward the restaurant. Junior skipped happily nearby.

  She couldn’t help stealing several glances at her boy on the way to the restaurant.

  Her chest constricted. She’d loved Dylan and adored Junior, and it still hadn’t stopped her from leaving them both. Her only excuse, if one could call it that, was that with the way she’d been then, Dylan and Junior had been better off without her.